As many of you already know, Big Perm is a lover, not a fighter. I would rather make sweet, sweet, love to a woman with a hint of Al Green playing in the background, rather than throw down with a no neck muscle head at the local bar. If push comes to shove, tree hugging hippies, and lefty pinko fascists better watch there step, because a world of hurt is coming their way. So thank God I can keep loving my women, and not feel like a total puss, since Activision released their latest installment of Call Of Duty, aptly named Call of Duty 3 for the Xbox 360 console.

The Call of Duty 3 storyline takes place days after the Normandy Invasion, and gives you a perspective that envelopes not only the American role of the liberation of Paris, but includes the Polish, and English efforts, and for some strange reason includes the efforts of the French resistance. Before I played this game, I thought of the French people as cheese eating surrender monkeys, and after I played the game my opinion did not change. The only thing they contributed to modern society were French fries, and the ever so succulent Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza. For that I am eternally grateful.

The game play is consistent with the previous versions down to the exact controls, so if you had played Call of Duty 2 The Big Red One, you will start clawing at your eyeballs trying to keep awake through the tutorial. Once the tutorial is finished jump into a troop carrier that gets blown to kingdom come. Once you come to, you need to battle through the chateaus and villas of the French countryside, laying waste to scores of Nazi scum. Then through a twist of genius you become a Polish tank gunner, who tries to whoop ass on German Panzer divisions, a British commando that follows a crazy Scottish commando to save a high ranking officer. If you think the French resistance was a pointless addition you will get a kick out of becoming a Canadian Highlander which is totally pointless, due to the fact that Canadians really didn’t do a whole lot, and after thinking back about it, I believe they were neutral like hippies.

The array of weapons hasn’t really changed since Call of Duty 2, and have remained pretty standard, like the M1 Garand, and the German MP 40, but if I were going to choose my favorite, I definitely had the most fun with the Springfield M1903. This weapon of destruction gave me the sick pleasure of seeing blood splatter a Nazi heart 1000 yards out without a hint of remorse. If that wasn’t enough you get to use Allied tanks and Allied jeeps in some of the missions, but it takes some time to get used to it before you can comfortably maneuver through each field or road.

Activision has brought us a first person shooter that really makes you feel apart of the action, but fails to bring it home due to a lackluster story. Apart from the kick-ass graphics, Call of Duty 3 lacks the originality that made the original Call of Duty a household name. If I were going to rate this game I would give it 3 out of 5 head shots.