Naples Blogs

‘Captain Ron’

Starring: Kurt Russell, Martin Short, Mary Kay Place and Paul Anka

Rated: PG-13 for elements of sexuality, brief nudity and language

Running time: 104 minutes

Released: 1992

Popcorn. One of the main staples of any movie-going experience.

I like popcorn, but what I like even better than popcorn is a popcorn movie.

A popcorn movie is something you watch knowing full well it’s goofy and ridiculous but don’t care because you enjoy it. Much how you know popcorn is unhealthy but like it anyway.

Popcorn movies are especially convenient during a busy workweek. When you’ve been dragging the line for eight hours, earning less than you deserve and finding it harder and harder to “grin and bear it,” the last thing you want to do is come home and kick back with an evening viewing of “Schindler’s List.”

“Schindler’s List” might make you feel better about your own life, but it’s certainly not going to plaster a smile on your face.

“Captain Ron” will, though. It’s a great popcorn comedy that reminds us that every once in a while we need to relax.

Take Martin Harvey (Martin Short), for example. He does the same thing day in and day out, which essentially means his life is boring.

Like many of us, he has plans to do something big and exciting “someday.” The problem with someday is that it usually never comes. And when it does come we never realize it until years after the fact.

But as it turns out, Martin’s uncle has passed away and left him a yacht that, at one time, belonged to Clark Gable.

Because of that fact, it’s worth a lot of money if Martin can get it to the right buyer (Paul Anka) in Miami, Florida.

Tired of waiting for someday and wanting to experience a little adventure with his wife (Mary Kay Place) and two kids, he decides to pack up his family and go down to the island the boat is docked at and deliver it himself.

While dropping everything to go on an impromptu adventure might sound a little on the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants side, Martin has enough sense to realize he knows absolutely nothing about sailing.

To remedy that problem, he hires the titular Captain Ron (Kurt Russell) to take them on their voyage and to show them how to handle things aboard the boat.

Martin had a fun, somewhat educational and cultural experience planned out for his family, but all of that pretty much gets thrown overboard once Captain Ron enters their lives. It’s fun how things never go according to plan in the movies.

If Jack Sparrow had a modern day relative, it would be Captain Ron. Complete with an eye patch (a nice homage to Russell’s “Escape From New York” days) and an excuse for everything, Captain Ron is a life-loving free spirit who never quite knows what he’s doing until he’s all ready done it.

In other words, chaos usually abounds whenever he’s near, but he means no harm.

Obviously, the straight-laced Martin has a difficult time dealing with him; and the more time Captain Ron spends with the Harvey family the more jealous Martin becomes. He doesn’t approve of his reckless actions and it begins to eat him up how much what Ron does seems to endear him more and more to his family.

However, if Martin wants to get through his adventure in one piece, he’ll have to figure out a way to juggle Captain Ron and all the perks that come with him. And that includes trouble from the actual pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, they exist outside of the theme park.

So, okay, all of that might sound kind of silly. But so what?

It’s more than okay to watch a goofy movie every once in a while. In fact, I recommend it.

It’s entertaining, let’s you relax without having to put too much thought into it and can save you a fortune on therapy bills.

Bottom line, “Captain Ron” is a goofy, funny popcorn movie that was made for no other reason than to make you laugh.

Next time you have a particularly rough day at work, pop in “Captain Ron.” Between the comedy and the great reggae tunes that play throughout, you’ll be relaxed in no time.

And don’t forget the popcorn.

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The Movie Dude, Joe Altomere of Fort Myers, grew up in his parents’ video store in Plantersville, Texas. He owns close to 2,000 DVDs and Blu-ray discs and considers that only the start of his collection. E-mail him at jaltomere@yahoo.com.

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