Get your Madden 07 Fix

On August 22 of this year, Maddenoliday was introduced to celebrate what most football fanatics and players alike say is the best football game that EA Sports has offered since the Xbox 360 was unveiled. I am here to say that John Madden and the Tiburon team have once again pulled off another spectacular achievement with Madden 07.

In 16 years, the series of Madden football video games has sold more than 51 million copies worldwide, and has been the cause of countless failed relationships. It has sparked debate among various religious circles, and continues to be linked to outbreaks of male virginity in Canadian men over 30. It’s an epidemic on a scale that hasn’t been documented since Stanley “Tookie” Williams of the Los Angles-based gang, “the Crips,” introduced crack cocaine to South Central L.A. back in the early eighties.

I can remember when my friends and I first started playing Madden for Super Nintendo back in 1991. It was as if I had hit the pipe for the first time, and I couldn’t put it down. I have lost jobs, relationships and countless sleepless nights over my fixation on becoming a Madden superstar. And I can tell you this year is no different. You can forget an intervention because I’m ready to get my fix. If Madden was crack, I would have no problem saying that if crack kills, I don’t want to be alive.

After the utter disappointment that greeted the introduction of Madden 06 for the Xbox 360, I quickly began to see why most Madden junkies were scratching at their necks in order to play this game. My pupils started to dilate as the opening credits rolled across the screen and my football season was under way. As a Chicago Bears fanatic, I quickly jumped into Lovee Smith’s coaching spot, in order to get a glimpse into what Brian Urlacher and Mushin Muhammed had in store for Brett Favre and our pansy rivals, the Green Bay Packers.

I was amazed at how Madden 07 distinguished itself from last year’s version in so many ways. The annoying vision cone, signifying all that is not holy in game play, is finally a thing of the past. They have decided to keep it as an option just in case you get completely wasted and have a hell of a time trying to find your receiver. I can tell you that I was more inclined to run the ball down the Packers’ throats than throw up the Hail Mary in Madden 07, due to the introduction of the lead blocker control. It gives you the ability to be an offensive blocker and spear a defender with the possible outcome of turning him into a quadriplegic. But watch out for the referee, because he will throw a flag.

Also, there are great advancements in how your favorite player runs, jukes right, jukes left, even jumps over a defender, something never before seen in any previous Madden. The visual effects, like the way the rain reflects off the surface of the field, along with the stadium graphics, make this game truly next-gen.

What is there not to say about Madden 07 except that the experience kicked ass and I think that I’m in love with it. If it had a nice rack, I would probably marry it! But since I have been talking about crack, I have this sudden urge to give this game 5 out of 5 rocks.

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