Hillary's Campaign Sing-a-long

The 2008 election is only a year and a half away, and while that may seem like a long time (it’s not), candidates from both sides of the political seesaw are already scrambling to come up with strategies for tackling “the big issues—” issues like Iraq, same-sex marriage, stem-cell testing and the ever popular “War on Terror.”

But for Hillary Clinton it seems there is one other task in sore need of attention. She tells us on YouTube that it’s a problem that’s been plaguing her campaign team for months now, one so vital to the future of the free world that the very fabric of space-time itself is at risk of being torn asunder.

Hillary Clinton needs your help, America. She needs a campaign theme song.

Go ahead and laugh, but when you see Hillary take the stage to the sounds of a-ha’s “Take on Me” you’ll wish you had been just a smidge more proactive.

Knowing full well that victory stands in the balance (and isn’t winning the election really the whole point of running in the first place?), I decided to set out and find the perfect song for Hillary’s campaign. On her web site she took the time to put up her favorite eight, ranging in sound and style from Smash Mouth to Jesus Jones, but I don’t think that any of them really say, “I’m going to kick McCain’s ass” quite well enough.

Somehow, I’m just not convinced that Shania Twain’s “Rock This Country!” or U2’s “Beautiful Day” have the musical cajones to inspire America to vote another Clinton into office. I won’t even mention the Dixie Chicks’ “Ready to Run,” except to say that given the current state of affairs, maybe you should hold off on the country music for a while, Hil.

Hillary’s campaign needs a song that’s versatile, approachable, and inspirational – one that can serve as a rallying cry for her allies and strike fear in the hearts of her enemies. It should be one that says to all who listen, “I’m Hillary Clinton, and I approved this message.” I can think of no song more appropriate for this task than Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.”

In Norse mythology, the Valkyries are a race of warrior women who collect the bodies of fallen soldiers to bring to Valhalla in preparation for Ragnarök, the epic battle at the end of the world. What could be more striking than Hillary, clad á la Zena in a suit of armor and horned helmet, armed with her Lucky Hammer of Justice, riding a winged horse alongside mighty Thor himself and gliding off into a Pacific coast sunset? Or better yet, making a dramatic entrance at the next Democratic primary debate. Let’s see Barack Obama top that.

Simply put, a vote for Wagner is a vote for the future. Never mind the issues or the campaign promises: with a theme song as bold and beautiful as "Ride of the Valkyries," who cares? Go to www.hillaryclinton.com to make your vote count. And be sure to check out some of YouTube's replies to Hillary. We'll see who's advice she heeds.

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