The Movie Dude: Martin's 'Roxanne' is divine

I was flipping channels a couple weeks ago and came across “The Pink Panther;” not the classic 1963 film starring Peter Sellers, but the 2006 remake starring Steve Martin. It grossed more than $100 million. When you finish watching it you’re left wondering, “Why?”

While I’m able to admit it has its moments, few and far between though they may be, it’s still a pretty bad movie and downright sacrilegious when compared to the Steve Martin movies I grew up watching.

That’s why I picked “Roxanne” to write about this week. It’s a Steve Martin film from back in his heyday, when he wasn’t marketing himself to children. It’s a perfect representation of his humor and wit and, more importantly, it’s a good movie.

Written by Mr. Martin himself, “Roxanne” is a modern day retelling of “Cyrano de Bergerac” (you know, the guy with the really big nose who gives another guy advice on how to get with the girl he himself really wants).

Martin plays C.D. Bales (mind the initials), a small-town fire chief who’s as funny as he is intelligent. He is, however, violently insecure about one particular aspect of himself — his extremely large nose.

He’s in love with the local astronomer, Roxanne (Daryl Hannah), yet refuses to admit it because he doesn’t feel someone as beautiful as her could ever be in love with someone who looks like him.

Despite his beliefs, C.D. and Roxanne begin spending a lot of time together, to the point he thinks she even likes him. When he decides to confront her about both of their feelings, he discovers that she actually likes one of C.D.’s employees, Chris (Rick Rossovich), a dim-witted, but good-looking, firefighter. To make matters worse, she even asks C.D. if he could talk to him for her.

C.D. is understandably hurt, but is unable to refuse her request. It’s no easy task. Chris could easily be an honorary member of the Three Stooges.

Obviously, Chris likes Roxanne, but he’s afraid to talk to her because she’s so smart. He’s even incapable of taking C.D.’s suggestion of writing her a letter.

Knowing it’s the only way he can get his true feelings across, C.D. agrees to write a letter revealing how he actually feels about Roxanne, allowing Chris to pass it off as his own.

Roxanne, of course, falls in love with the writing, which technically means she’s in love with C.D., only a C.D. in the guise of the oafish handsome guy. Typical.

The only problem (well, one of many problems, but definitely the biggest) is that writing can only go so far. When Chris and Roxanne are alone the true lummox begins to show himself. Is it only a matter of time before Roxanne figures out something is off, or will C.D. figure out a way to keep Roxanne happy with Chris, while being miserable himself?

So many questions! But trust me, they all have hilarious answers. While a love story is at the film’s core, it is most definitely a comedy, one that perfectly showcases Martin’s comic abilities.

One scene in particular is where C.D. has to come up with 20 different “big nose” jokes in a bar surrounded by dozens of people. It’s self-deprecating, to be sure, yet oddly inspiring (and hilarious) when you understand the reasoning behind why he’s doing it.

The man has a brilliant delivery that comes across as if he thought of it right there on the spot, as opposed to having a script memorized. One example is when he responds to a comment about irony by saying, “We haven’t had any irony here since about, uh, ’83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.”

Among some of the other comic moments are all the scenes between C.D. and his bumbling crew of firefighters, one of whom is afraid to slide down the fire pole whenever they have to get to the truck. Right there you know you’re in trouble, and unfortunately it’s only the tip of the iceberg.

Bottom line, “Roxanne” is a clever, funny, somewhat romantic movie that will make you laugh as much as it’ll make you ... no, it’ll pretty much just make you laugh. Martin really is a remarkable guy, and “Roxanne” is a great way to be introduced to that, or a great way to be reminded of it if you’re as big a fan as I am.

Watching it is also a nice way to slide into Valentine’s Day, because it is coming up. Next week I’ll have a more V-Day-oriented film to recommend for you.

The Movie Dude, Joe Altomere of Fort Myers, grew up in his parents’ video store in Plantersville, Texas. He owns close to 2,000 DVDs and Blu-ray discs and considers that only the start of his collection. E-mail him at jaltomere@yahoo.com

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